It's been really rough being unemployed and in more ways then one. Of course theres the fact that you don't have any cash coming in except unemployment which is nothing like what you usually made. Theres the fact that there is nothing to do all day except sit and look for jobs and apply for jobs that you don't get and that you don't even get a response from a person for the ones you check on. I can go to the library because that's about the only thing in this town that's free. When you have to watch your nickles and dimes, you can't stop at the fast food restaurant b/c you don't feel like cooking dinner. I can't get bored and say, "Jeez, I need to go to the mall because there's a sale at such and such a store." Yeah it would be great to go get a new top or something but then you have to look at the big picture and say, "Ok can I get a top, or pay my electric bill? Hmm which one will help me in the long run more?" It's tough and I can relate to those who are going through this with me, before me and those who will go through it later.
I think the best way to describe the whole situation is frustrating. I thought that was my dream job, the job I'd have for years and barely 9 months later you're thrown on your tail out the door. Where do you go from here? For me, yes I have a college education but employers look at your work history and see 6 months as this job and 9 months at this job which you were fired from and they don't want to take the risk as having you on their staff. I'm so annoyed with applying to jobs that I am either not completely qualified for so they overlook you or those which I am overqualified for and they over look me. I mean I can't even get a secretary job where the qualifications say "High School Diploma."
My biggest fear/worry is what am I going to do if I don't get a job? The way the whole economy/job market is right now, there are thousands and thousands of people going for jobs. What if I don't get one? What am I going to do, move home? What's for me there, nothing. Home is even worse then here. My next job I have to stay at at least a year...no if, and's or but's about it. So how do I find a job that decent that won't drive me insane? I'm worried because the last job started great and turned into a shit show (pardon the language.) What if the next one does too, and the next, and so on? What if my working career is meant to be bonfire pit of tried and failed occupations? I know worrying gets me no where but when it's nearing the end of week 10 and nothings is in sight, the end looks pretty gloomy.
A related note: I watched this episode of 30 days on hulu.com today. (www.hulu.com is a great site for those of you out there like me who can't afford to rent movies. It's old movies but some of the TV shows are recent that they have....I don't have cable either) The links below. It will give you a good grasp on what many people in this world go through. Maybe this time in my life is to show me that I need to watch my money more closely and I was spending too free-ly before. I guess God only knows. Take care all!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/5287/30-days-minimum-wage
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