I dreamed of it...it was the thing I worked for. I couldn't have been happier or more proud when I was the chosen one to receive the acceptance letter. And then Wednesday it all came to an end. I was released from my job that day. The job I thought was my dream let me fall to the roadside, crumbled and discouraged. It was one of those surreal experiences. As it was happening I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to prove all the work to her that I had done that she said I hadn't done. The goals she said I had not met that I had. It's crushing feeling to have someone tell you that you're not good enough, that your not right when you thought you were.
I'm trying to be positive and I'm fine now. More then the job I'll miss the people. I met so many great people and I'll miss seeing them every week. It's almost a "be careful what you wish for" situation. I have been battling back and forth in my mind for months on what my life holds for me. I've said, "What if what I've built here isn't as good as what's out there? But what if what's out there isn't as good as what I've built here?" Now I guess God's giving me my chance to find out. I had this job so I wasn't able to go out and explore out there and I wanted to so badly. Now that I can, I'm rather overwhelmed and scared to death! Where do I start? There's so many things that are holding me here that I love, yet what if I will love it more out there? What if my real life is in Montana or West Virginia, or Alabama!?! It's crazy to think that I really could go anywhere and nothing is stopping me. Maybe this is a good thing to be let go from my job and this is the start of my life.....maybe it starts tomorrow....
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