So I have to admit something. I like Cops. I don't know why but there's something funny about watching the police chase a half drunk man with no shirt, his pants falling off, and a handful of teeth in his mouth that makes me laugh. (Why are they all the same too? Are they arresting the same person over and over?) It's these situations that are the reason I love Cops. It's also the dumb people on there. I saw one once where a woman called the police because she got ripped off when she was buying coke!! What?! Are you kidding me? You called the police because you got ripped off selling coke!? Yeah, no lie, she did. See, I got your interest now.
On to our local version of Cops (in print). In our school paper we have a police blotter that reports the crimes on campus. There might be something like someone got their laptop stolen from the library or someone got $5.00 stolen from their office. I say: A) lock your damn office, B) don't leave your laptop alone in the library, your asking for it to be stolen, and C) don't do dumb things to end up in the police blotter. Those above are legitimate crimes. The following, not so much:
Last week there was a report of a girl who received a harassing phone call to her dorm room. The man on the line said he had to ask a bunch of questions for some frat thing. The girl answered the questions (like an idiot) and the questions got more and more personal. (NO!! Cause frats are so wholesome!) She finally hung up and called the police, AFTER 20 MINUTES!! WHAT!?! You don't report a harassing phone call that lasted 20 minutes!! HANG UP THE PHONE!! It's not like he had you pinned in a corner or something, he had you on the telephone! Hang it up! See this is the kind of things I get to read in the police blotter!!!
This week I think was almost better. They have a police officer in the dorms after check in to make sure you aren't overly intoxicated and trying to get into the dorms. (or, if you have a huge backpack at 11:00 pm on a Saturday.) In the blotter this week, they had all the reports of people who they caught with alcohol in the dorms. One guy had two bottles of vodka and a case of beer in his backpack!! He must have been struggling!! That's a lot of crap and all with one person! Now, think about it...you put all that on one person, when you could have split it up and had three people bring it in!! There, you were dumb and lost all your alcohol when you could have gotten away with just losing a little! The other one was a guy who had the top of a bottle of vodka sticking out of his backpack! Ok lets think about this, if your going to sneak alcohol in, the key word is 'sneak'! Not have it sticking out so all can see!! Gosh, I love the police blotter!
See, it's because of people like this that I love Cops. The dumb people of the world. These are the ones that make me smile. So next time you hear that famous music, take a little time before you turn the channel.
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