So I'm beginning to wonder if this whole life I had imagined in GB is really going to happen. I wanted this job so bad and now I'm kind of contemplating it. I love it, I really do and it's what I wanted to do but the rest of my life isn't turning out quite like I had expected! My future 'roommate' (or the girl who was suppose to be my roommate) can't get a job in GB so she is going to move back home since her lease is up June 1st. Well that leaves me living alone, which I don't really want to do; and it leaves me with a huge a*# rent bill I have to pay all on my own. The cheapest rent I can find for a decent place is like $650.00. That's almost two weeks of pay on what I bring home.
I don't know what I expected to happen but more and more I'm thinking I need to leave WI and go travel somewhere else. Sometimes I want to leave here so bad I feel like I'm going to burst out of my skin. And other times I'm so content I can't see myself anywhere else. I want to travel the U.S. and visit other places to see if WI is really right for me. What if Oregon is right? Or Wyoming? Or Ohio? How will I ever know if I don't try other things out?
Maybe I have this impossible dream in my head that I have made that could never come true. I don't know why I can't just be all around happy. A great deal of it is because I feel so alone sometimes. I wish I could just be happy by myself and deal with life. I guess things just aren't working out like I thought they would and it sucks. I don't want to live alone....I like people. Something needs to change here or I might lose it all.
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